I want a God who is small and careful and deliberate. Who sees the secret places and comes into them. Who sees the unchecked injustices of the world and comes to set them right, one broken life at a time. Who is loving and careful, patient and kind, faithful and truthful and giving.
I want a God who can rescue the people I love and care for but who have no advocate of their own. I want a God who will walk beside them and bear them up, offering them hope and support and love, giving them all his attention and compassion.
I want a God who is wise and good and kind, who rushes in where needed and stays alongside to watch, to supervise, waiting to intervene if things go kablooey, but trusting that they really will work out.
I want a God big enough to make the world, the stars, the universe. I want a God who is there and who was there and will be there. I want a God who rages against evil and pain and harm and death, who stamps out injustice and puts an end to the evil of humanity by putting an end to the evil in humanity.
I want a God angrier than I am at what we are doing in our world, at what we do in so many small, careless, selfish ways that come together to form big, raw, dripping scars upon our own lives, our families, and our nations. I want a Go who is adamantly opposed to evil, who will fight it and stop it and restore the things broken and lost.
I want a God so big that he can be trusted to do what he says because he’s strong enough as well as good enough.
I want a God who can stop pain and suffering, cancer and murder, evil and evil works. Who can be at the bedside to heal a sick child or in a market to feed a hungry one. Who can be alongside the lonely and with the fatigued. Who can be all the things I wish a God could be, in all circumstances.
That is what I want.