I read this book in one sitting—with a few breaks for meals and snacks. Admittedly, this book is not designed to be read this way, and the author goes out of her way to insist that this book is best read and understood in community. But in times of Covid and isolation one does what one must do, I suppose.
But in spite of that, of not reading this in community, I found great value in the book and the methodology of going more deeply into the discussion about America’s most denied and most apparent sin: race. The book does not approach the topic as a sermon or lecture, and does not come across as polemic or soft-hearted. It confronts the topic directly, aimed right at people like me (white) who would want to be able to think about and talk about race comfortably without the anxiety or shame or even guilt that keep us from thinking clearly and feeling our whole selves.
For this is not a “how-to manual” on how to talk about race, racism, and the formation of the American character, split between white people and everyone else. This is not a book of handy answers to help us have a quick or satisfying solution to this nagging problem which is our difficulty in simply talking about race and racism without the distractions of side issues and side eyes.
This is a book that starts from the premise that we are whole beings with a complex mix of emotions, thoughts, histories, experiences, beliefs, constraints, desires, and needs, and it helps walk us through the path of unwinding ourselves from our anxieties when approaching the topics of race and racism, and helps keep us centered not just in our thoughts but also in our feelings.
Again and again, the author asks us to journal or talk about what we’re reading, what we’re feeling about our thoughts, how we want to incorporate these new and perhaps destabilizing ideas into our lives.
You will not find this to be the “answer book.” It’s not designed for that. This is a book that invites us to join in the community, in the discussion, in the journey.
If I had my druthers, yes, I’d read it in a group. I can see how it would be helpful. But even without that experience, it is still a very handy and inspiring tool to keep us wanting more, to drive us deeper into ourselves as humans, as spiritual beings, to figure out what it is that we want so much but are so afraid to admit: intimacy and forgiveness, hope and restoration, connection and community.