Two Things

Back in July or August of 2023 my left thigh started bothering me. It was just a small patch of prickly numbness about the size of a quarter. Certain kinds of clothing irritated the heck out of it, but even without anything touching it, I’d have this numb-prickliness. I didn’t think much of it – there was no obvious sign of irritation – my skin was unblemished -so I chalked it up to “bodies being weird.”

Gradually throughout the fall that weird patch grew bigger and became more irritating to the point where I could not put anything into my left pants pocket and I had a hard time getting to sleep because it was just an irritating “look at me!” kind of sensation. Not really pain but just discomfort.

Over the months of December and January it rapidly expanded until the left side of my thigh was regularly “on fire.” Just hot and prickly and still weirdly numb.

In February, it changed. The numbness went away, and the prickliness kinda died down, because now it was just a shattering PAIN that would suddenly strike like a lightning bolt down my thigh at odd times of day or night. I might be walking, I might be relaxing in my leather chair, I might be at work, and I’d have this ice pick drive through my leg to the point where I could not concentrate while I waited for the next “attack.”

I finally went to my doctor and described the symptoms. He listened, then reached behind him to pull out a device from a drawer: a Wartenburg Neuro Pinwheel (I found this name later) that has two dozen metal spikes on a wheel that, when drawn across skin, can identify nerve sensitivity.

Reader, I tell you that when he tried it on any part of my body except my left thigh it was a moderately interesting sensation, not really painful but definitely the feeling of dull pins or nails. Not uncomfortable. But when he rolled it down my left thigh from hip to knee right along the most painful part I yelped. It was like he knew, without asking any more questions, exactly where the pain sensation was.

He diagnosed me with a fairly common condition called meralgia parasthetica, which is caused by a damaged or irritated lateral femoral cutaneous nerve.

I’ve been on a diet to lose weight, and so that’s part of the treatment plan. We tried some medications to relieve the irritation – Gabapentin for the pain, Prednisone to reduce the inflammation – but neither worked rapidly.

I’ve spent the last four months trying to be careful, watching my weight, and also taking other actions to help improve the condition.

Which brings me to my second thing. After a month or so of just not seeing much change, I began to work with a personal trainer/coach/kinesthesiologist who started me stretching five mornings a week for about an hour. Then over time, we’ve added going through the fitness circuit. The first two weeks were terrible. Can’t explain just how hard it was. I hadn’t done any kind of real exercise for 40 years and didn’t realize how inflexible and weak I was. So we ran through the stretching and exercises and I just endured it for two weeks.

But on the third Monday – well, it was magic. I got done with my hour and I felt great. In fact, I felt great all day, like I was on a buzz. Same for Tuesday. And Wednesday. Back in college, I ran every day for exercise and never got that runner’s high. I worked out at the gym for six months on my own and never, ever got anywhere.

Having a trainer/coach guide me and make sure I’m doing all the moves correctly (no cheats!) has been revolutionary. And some exercises that were simply beyond me – the “windshield wiper” with both legs raised 90 degrees up, then moving them down to the ground at each side, right, left, “bouncing” when I touched the ground and getting back up to point upwards became doable and then comfortable.

I’m still struggling with the early parts of getting in shape. My arms are incredibly weak, so pull-ups are not much of an “up.” But some things that were “impossible” are now just hard. Burpees exhaust me – which they should! – and the slow lunges to stretch the groin/leg muscles have been incredibly painful to my left leg until I figured out how to avoid compressing that nerve – I slightly turn my left heel out when I stretch back, and raise it up slightly as well, and that’s enough to avoid the compression.

The weight loss is stuck, but my pants are looser, and I’m gaining a bit of “shape.” Which is interesting, having been a beautiful pear shape for most of my life. 😊

This is in addition to my work in learning Haitian Creole, which is still hard because I am slow! I joked with my teacher that my coach pushes me past my physical endurance, and my teacher pushes me past my intellectual endurance.