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REVIEW: Punch Me Up to the Gods
We learn, slowly, how to gather the people around us who will care for us and who will give us some space in their own lives.
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THE TSAR’S LOCKET, by Ken Czech
Nations must ally themselves against external enemies, but what of enemies within?
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Fieldnotes on Allyship: Now in Print
It is a truth universally acknowledged that America is centered on the success, promotion, pleasure, and whims of white people.
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THE CHRISTMAS EVE PROMISE, by Elyse Douglas
What if you could return to the past to correct a mistake in the present?
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Making the Past the Past
“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” ~ Wm. Faulkner It is a difficult thing to think that one’s own faith might itself be in need of redemption. While I got “saved” into the Christian faith during the Jesus Movement, I still found the Billy Graham Crusades to be helpful. Yet it felt funny to see BG side with Republicans. It was discomforting to see how little BG dealt with the racism of the church—even when I wasn’t aware of what was going on, really, I remember thinking it odd that BG would be so, so careful on how he handled MLK, Jr. and his memory. I found…
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13 BILLION TO ONE, by Randy Rush
I was given an advance reader’s copy of the book 13 Billion to One, by Randy Rush, and asked to create an honest review after reading. My thoughts are below. This is a wild and fascinating ride through the experiences of a man plucked by fate from his ordinary life into the world of fantasy–the fantasy of suddenly having enough money to do just about whatever you want to do. Go see your favorite team! Fly to Europe! Travel to Africa! Buy the car that you’ve always wanted. Two cars—or even more! But along with fantasy comes the reality of dealing with the people who surround you hoping to use…
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Interview with Jamie Lisa Forbes
I agreed to read and review Eden, by Jamie Lisa Forbes. I found the book fascinating and deep (you can read my review here), and I got to ask the author some questions about the book and about the inspiration for her creation. It’s interesting to look back at the timeframe of the authorship as well as my reading of the book—prior to COVID-19 and the current social unrest in the United States, there seemed to be little reason to believe that leaving secrets buried would become harmful in the present. The strategy has worked so well for us in the past. But here we are in a time of…
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EDEN, by Jamie Lisa Forbes
WHAT IS EDEN AND WHERE CAN WE FIND IT, we sometimes ask. A place of creation for some. A place of rest for others. And yet Eden is the garden that we lost because of the choices we made long ago. We were cast out, and we cannot return though we ever yearn to be there in the cool of the evening when the first stars appear. Rowen is there at the beginning, of course, when he first meets Eden—a young girl who must testify of extraordinary and violent crimes she witnessed that rocked the small town of White Rock, North Carolina. She’s a wisp of a thing, the kind…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 46: Whole Again
I’ve been blogging with friends as I read through “Waking Up White,” by Debby Irving. We’re committed to reading, thinking, and then writing about our thoughts. For a complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quote from Ms. Irving’s book appear using a format to distinguish them from my own words in response. Race is not a cause, it’s a part of becoming fully human. —Billie Mayo Goodness. Interesting and provocative! One of the great temptations of white people when confronting racism is to wish earnestly that it would go away as a difficult and troubling topic. And yet—here it is. I write and edit for Our…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 45: Normalizing Race Talk
Blogging with friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committed to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. Using the topic of race as a relationship builder, not buster. I still find it to be uncanny that as I read this book, pause, and then blog about it, that what I read in the book seems to be in parallel to what I’m currently experiencing or thinking. I’m thinking right now about how to talk about race that is normative and informative…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 44: Listening
Still blogging with my friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committing ourselves to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “You know what we need? We need a listening revolution.” I’m friends with a few people, some of them exceedingly gracious to me. The ones whom I learn the most from are the ones I listen the most to. Listening runs counter to my character of having to know everything and to try everything and to be assertive and confident and…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 43: From Tolerance to Engagement
I’m blogging, along with several other writers, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to sharing our thoughts as we read. This is another post in the series of my own journey. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “Tolerance” and “celebrating diversity” set the bar too low. Intriguing statement. In this chapter Ms. Irving explores the idea that merely putting people of color (or BBIPOC) into an organization does not, by itself, do anything beyond show that corporations are capable of expanding their hiring pool. (This is not a bad…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 42: Solidarity and Accountability
I’m blogging, along with several others, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to writing about our thoughts as we read along, and so this is another post in the series. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book are formatted using a different style than my own reactions. Somewhere early in this journey, a man of color signed a note to me, “In solidarity, James.” The word “solidarity” jolted me. Here he’d just extended to me the honor of being “in” something with him, and I was feeling uncomfortable about it. It made me feel like a fraud and…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, Life Recovery Skills, racism, writing
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 41: From Bystander to Ally
Still reading chapters from Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving, and blogging my responses as I read. Quotes are from the book, and my responses follow. I’ve been doing some thinking lately about all this. And by “all this” I mean “all the stuff I read and write and think and say,” because I don’t know if—beyond confirming with others who are already convinced—I’m doing anything effective. And to be as blunt as possible about this: I’m not sure, not at all sure, that what I’m doing is doing anything for me or in me or to me. I’m not sure that I’ve done anything beyond becoming more informed and…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 40: Bull in a China Shop
I’m reading chapters from Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving, and blogging my responses. Quotes are from the book, and my responses follow. How habits that seem so innocuous to me can alienate people of color. What is unbelievable is how timely this is for today, for right now, for this moment. I’m sure it’s no secret that I an consciously engaging in communities that are not like my default white community, for reasons that have to do with my own understanding, to repent of my selfish self-centered ways, to become a genuine human being, to learn about the lives of other people, and to see their value—and ultimately to…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 39: Equality Starts with Equity
I’m going through Debbie Irving’s book Waking Up White, along with several friends, blogging about each chapter as I read it and react to it. Quotes are from her book; my responses follow. Another particularly stubborn hard-drive attitude I’ve had to wrestle with is the idea that “fair means equal.” This attitude fits nicely with the myth of meritocracy. This fits in with what I’m thinking at the moment, that there are so many missing elements and gaps in the lives and experiences of my friends. I imagine sometimes what it might be like to be equal, but I hadn’t considered, really, what it might be like to have equity.…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, Life Recovery Skills, racism, writing
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 38: The Rugged Individual
I’m blogging my way through Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving. Along with a few other writers, we’re reading and commenting as we go. See the end of this post for more information. Learning to value both independence and interdependence. I am intrigued by this already. My predisposition is that independence is valuable in itself, and that is what I focus on. Gotta be honest, this was drilled into me in my formation. I can’t think of any one thing that led to this, but the entire period of my childhood and youth was that I had to go it alone, do it my way, follow my own path, build…
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The Quarantine of Emotions
If you haven’t been paying attention, there’s a play running right now in New York City that’s controversial and provoking. “The Slave Play” (which I have not seen) questions the intersection between black and white, male and female, slave and free, running from the 19th century into the 21st. From the reviews and news stories I’ve read, it’s deeply discomforting to just about everyone who sees it, and everyone who sees it and talks about it seems to have highly individualized reactions to it. Just reading the reviews and the following comments makes me uncomfortable. I don’t rest easy with depictions of human interactions that depend heavily upon these themes…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 37: Boxes and Labels
This is another post in the series Waking Up White, exploring the book by Debby Irving of the same name. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ I’m not an active snob, just a well-programmed passive one. The problem of thinking that life is either or, says Ms. Irving, is that after we divide people, we stop paying attention to those in the “wrong” group. We favor the “right” people. We become, conscious or not, of class and status based upon our classification system and our values used to rank people. What Ms. Irving suggests as a replacement is curiosity and kindness and respect and active listening. When I…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 36: The Dominant White Culture
Continuing the series of examining whiteness while working through Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving. I’m utterly intrigued by the opening of this chapter: Moving from not knowing what it was to feeling it in every recess of my being. We all don’t start at the same places in our journeys; we don’t take the same paths; and we do not go at the same speed. But as far as I can tell, those of us who are working to investigate whiteness and ourselves in that whiteness have similar milestones and markers. Ms. Irving’s words here resonate with me—perhaps not in the same way, because I of course can’t get…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 35: If Only You’d Be More Like Me
I’m reading & simultaneously commenting on Debby Irving’s book Waking Up White. Jesus. I mean that in reverence not as a jocular aside or even as a swear word. I just finished writing (and lightly editing) a piece on what others think, using my own self and my own growing understanding, and how little I am doing right now other that reading, writing, or talking, and Ms. Irving opens with this: After years of wanting to help and fix others, I learned I had my own work to do. Like an arrow it strikes: how much of what I do is for others, because the others need my help? Jesus.…
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White Jesus, Bible Jesus: Pick One
Yes, this is deliberately provocative for a blog title, chosen to shake up people settled in their ways like the lees of a wine bottle stored far too long in a dusty cellar. I don’t respond to every bit of white nonsense I hear, for two main reasons: one, I already have a full life of people and activities and interests. White nonsense is everywhere, and I simply don’t have the strength or wisdom or patience to deal with it all the time. Two, I’m white—6F, as I put it—and I participate in white nonsense and sometimes create it. I’m working diligently to do that less, and I own every…
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My Dear White People
This is a love letter. Really. And it comes from someone who has committed every sin that’s listed here—and many more that are not. I embrace you and love you and care for you, and I think you’re fabulous in what you intend. You’re so kind and generous at times! But we need to talk about some stuff. We need to be real. We need to do something that we just don’t know how to do as white people: talk about ourselves without all the fronting and anger and hiding and shame. Because not only are we hurting those around us—even those we call our friends!—we’re hurting ourselves. I’ll leave…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 34: Becoming Multicultural
Once again, I’m reading & simultaneously commenting on Debby Irving’s book Waking Up White. This chapter is fire. Creating a racially just world demands a reconsideration of the assimilation (“melting pot”) model long enforced in America… Though its intention may have been to create a united country, its impact has been to create social and economic divisions far from the ideals of most Americans. I see this in my friends’ lives because (a) they don’t fit into the mainstream of whiteness (which is largely invisible to us who make the rules); (b) they are “encouraged” to fit in; but (c) they can never fit in because at any moment they’ll…
- essays, Fifth Avenue Theatre, justice, Life Recovery Skills, musicals, musings, racism, reviews, reviews, Theatre, writing
Pride and Prejudice, Staged
Last week we went to see a production of the new musical AUSTEN’S PRIDE, the story of Jane Austen‘s creation of the world of Pemberley and Darcy and Lizzie and Mrs. Bennet and Mr. Wickham and … well, the entire world that lives between the covers of the book Pride and Prejudice. Precis: Miss Jane Austen has had a successful run with her book Sense and Sensibility, but her publisher wants a new work. Simultaneously, her intended fiancé decides to break with her. She’s been rejected a few times, and is living in genteel near-poverty. All she has now to her assets is an idea with no form or view.…
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The Purpose-Driven Lie
“The purpose of racism is to control the behavior of white people, not Black people. For Blacks, guns and tanks are sufficient.” Dr. Otis Madison There are a few mentors in my life right now, men and women I both respect and admire. They teach me from their wisdom, from their experience, from their souls, and I attempt to listen, process, and adapt my own self to the new information I discover. One of my mentors, Andre Henry, posted this quote, which intrigued me immediately. I’ve been chewing on it for a day or so now, and musing about “what it means.” (Sometimes we do this even if it’s obvious,…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 33: Perception and Fear
Once again, a reminder that this series (“Waking Up White”) is from the book by Debby Irving. I read the chapter cold, and respond as I read. Then I answer the questions at the end. I do this work in public not because I need the cookie. When I was lost and frozen in white racism, one of the things that held me locked up was that I had no models of others who had found a way out. For those of you who are locked up yourself, maybe I can give you some assurance that you can be found, that there is a way out, and that it is…
