Life Recovery Skills
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Do This in Remembrance of Me
There were some who could eat right at the altar of sacrifice and restoration with hearts so hard that they would deny food to their own brothers and sisters in community because “well, if they wanted to eat, they should have brought their own.”
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Bullhorns and Butterflies
If you want to build your faith up so that you honor Jesus and you draw people to Jesus in your lives, might I suggest you do it the way that Jesus did?
- American Exceptionalism, Black Lives Matter, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism, violence
When They See Us—Buffalo Edition
Perhaps white people's thoughts and prayers and good intentions aren't enough when their Black friends are asking for love and dignity.
- American Exceptionalism, Black Lives Matter, Celebrate Recovery, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
Not Your Place, Not Your Time
White people, do not go into Black spaces to help change the conversation or add your very important opinion. It is just not the time and place for that.
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Making Good in Trouble
“Making good trouble” means stirring things up so that we do not become complacent about our situation and resigned to injustice
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Wyte Innocence
Wyte people can’t be accused of bias or wrong unless there is exceedingly overwhelming “proof,” and even then we will go down fighting and insisting that we were not wrong
- American Exceptionalism, Black Lives Matter, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
Jesus as Emperor
The vision of Jesus for empire Christianity in our Sunday Schools and sermons and theologies is really an irrelevant Jesus who does not match the Jesus of the texts.
- American Exceptionalism, Black Lives Matter, Celebrate Recovery, faith, family, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism, remodeling
On Deconstruction
For the vast, vast majority of people, “deconstruction” is a good thing. Deconstruction can result in something far different and, in my opinion, far better than, white Evangelical Christianity.
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When Our Bibles Get It Wrong
The history of the church is our confidence in rightly understanding until we realize how terribly wrong we’ve misunderstood everything.
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REVIEW: Jesus and John Wayne
Du Mez answers the question “What happened to white Evangelicals between Clinton and Trump?” with provocative, well-researched data to show the inevitability of the election results in 2016—and 2020.
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When Church Becomes the State
Sometimes we think that by making our country an explicitly religious one, we will solve our problems. But the results are always worse.
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REVIEW: So You Want to Talk about Race
So you want to write a review . . . I was initially reluctant to read this book by Ijeoma Uluo. I had heard it was “hard” to read. But I had purchased it, and had it sitting on my desk for a few months. “I’ll get to it.” One day. Just not today. So then I was challenged by a friend to read it. I did—and found out that my fears were unfounded. This is a deep, rich, emotionally transparent book about race and even . . . how to talk about race. I need to be absolutely clear here, as absolutely clear as Oluo is in her own…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 46: Whole Again
I’ve been blogging with friends as I read through “Waking Up White,” by Debby Irving. We’re committed to reading, thinking, and then writing about our thoughts. For a complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quote from Ms. Irving’s book appear using a format to distinguish them from my own words in response. Race is not a cause, it’s a part of becoming fully human. —Billie Mayo Goodness. Interesting and provocative! One of the great temptations of white people when confronting racism is to wish earnestly that it would go away as a difficult and troubling topic. And yet—here it is. I write and edit for Our…
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Words of Apology
One of the most critical things I’m learning is that a conditional apology is worthless. An apology leading with an “if” is nothing at all. It is words that afford us no responsibility to understand or change, and we can offer such an “apology” with no sense of insight about the person who we are. Instead, this “apology” pushes the offense to the victim of the offense. “I wasn’t clear. You didn’t understand. You’re too sensitive. I didn’t mean that.” Love is at stake here. The meaning, the purpose, the expression. We might think we “love” people, and we might think we really mean it. (“I feel so sincere!”) But…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 45: Normalizing Race Talk
Blogging with friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committed to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. Using the topic of race as a relationship builder, not buster. I still find it to be uncanny that as I read this book, pause, and then blog about it, that what I read in the book seems to be in parallel to what I’m currently experiencing or thinking. I’m thinking right now about how to talk about race that is normative and informative…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 44: Listening
Still blogging with my friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committing ourselves to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “You know what we need? We need a listening revolution.” I’m friends with a few people, some of them exceedingly gracious to me. The ones whom I learn the most from are the ones I listen the most to. Listening runs counter to my character of having to know everything and to try everything and to be assertive and confident and…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 43: From Tolerance to Engagement
I’m blogging, along with several other writers, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to sharing our thoughts as we read. This is another post in the series of my own journey. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “Tolerance” and “celebrating diversity” set the bar too low. Intriguing statement. In this chapter Ms. Irving explores the idea that merely putting people of color (or BBIPOC) into an organization does not, by itself, do anything beyond show that corporations are capable of expanding their hiring pool. (This is not a bad…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 42: Solidarity and Accountability
I’m blogging, along with several others, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to writing about our thoughts as we read along, and so this is another post in the series. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book are formatted using a different style than my own reactions. Somewhere early in this journey, a man of color signed a note to me, “In solidarity, James.” The word “solidarity” jolted me. Here he’d just extended to me the honor of being “in” something with him, and I was feeling uncomfortable about it. It made me feel like a fraud and…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, Life Recovery Skills, racism, writing
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 41: From Bystander to Ally
Still reading chapters from Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving, and blogging my responses as I read. Quotes are from the book, and my responses follow. I’ve been doing some thinking lately about all this. And by “all this” I mean “all the stuff I read and write and think and say,” because I don’t know if—beyond confirming with others who are already convinced—I’m doing anything effective. And to be as blunt as possible about this: I’m not sure, not at all sure, that what I’m doing is doing anything for me or in me or to me. I’m not sure that I’ve done anything beyond becoming more informed and…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 40: Bull in a China Shop
I’m reading chapters from Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving, and blogging my responses. Quotes are from the book, and my responses follow. How habits that seem so innocuous to me can alienate people of color. What is unbelievable is how timely this is for today, for right now, for this moment. I’m sure it’s no secret that I an consciously engaging in communities that are not like my default white community, for reasons that have to do with my own understanding, to repent of my selfish self-centered ways, to become a genuine human being, to learn about the lives of other people, and to see their value—and ultimately to…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, Life Recovery Skills, racism, writing
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 38: The Rugged Individual
I’m blogging my way through Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving. Along with a few other writers, we’re reading and commenting as we go. See the end of this post for more information. Learning to value both independence and interdependence. I am intrigued by this already. My predisposition is that independence is valuable in itself, and that is what I focus on. Gotta be honest, this was drilled into me in my formation. I can’t think of any one thing that led to this, but the entire period of my childhood and youth was that I had to go it alone, do it my way, follow my own path, build…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 37: Boxes and Labels
This is another post in the series Waking Up White, exploring the book by Debby Irving of the same name. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ I’m not an active snob, just a well-programmed passive one. The problem of thinking that life is either or, says Ms. Irving, is that after we divide people, we stop paying attention to those in the “wrong” group. We favor the “right” people. We become, conscious or not, of class and status based upon our classification system and our values used to rank people. What Ms. Irving suggests as a replacement is curiosity and kindness and respect and active listening. When I…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 36: The Dominant White Culture
Continuing the series of examining whiteness while working through Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving. I’m utterly intrigued by the opening of this chapter: Moving from not knowing what it was to feeling it in every recess of my being. We all don’t start at the same places in our journeys; we don’t take the same paths; and we do not go at the same speed. But as far as I can tell, those of us who are working to investigate whiteness and ourselves in that whiteness have similar milestones and markers. Ms. Irving’s words here resonate with me—perhaps not in the same way, because I of course can’t get…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 35: If Only You’d Be More Like Me
I’m reading & simultaneously commenting on Debby Irving’s book Waking Up White. Jesus. I mean that in reverence not as a jocular aside or even as a swear word. I just finished writing (and lightly editing) a piece on what others think, using my own self and my own growing understanding, and how little I am doing right now other that reading, writing, or talking, and Ms. Irving opens with this: After years of wanting to help and fix others, I learned I had my own work to do. Like an arrow it strikes: how much of what I do is for others, because the others need my help? Jesus.…
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White Jesus, Bible Jesus: Pick One
Yes, this is deliberately provocative for a blog title, chosen to shake up people settled in their ways like the lees of a wine bottle stored far too long in a dusty cellar. I don’t respond to every bit of white nonsense I hear, for two main reasons: one, I already have a full life of people and activities and interests. White nonsense is everywhere, and I simply don’t have the strength or wisdom or patience to deal with it all the time. Two, I’m white—6F, as I put it—and I participate in white nonsense and sometimes create it. I’m working diligently to do that less, and I own every…
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My Dear White People
This is a love letter. Really. And it comes from someone who has committed every sin that’s listed here—and many more that are not. I embrace you and love you and care for you, and I think you’re fabulous in what you intend. You’re so kind and generous at times! But we need to talk about some stuff. We need to be real. We need to do something that we just don’t know how to do as white people: talk about ourselves without all the fronting and anger and hiding and shame. Because not only are we hurting those around us—even those we call our friends!—we’re hurting ourselves. I’ll leave…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 34: Becoming Multicultural
Once again, I’m reading & simultaneously commenting on Debby Irving’s book Waking Up White. This chapter is fire. Creating a racially just world demands a reconsideration of the assimilation (“melting pot”) model long enforced in America… Though its intention may have been to create a united country, its impact has been to create social and economic divisions far from the ideals of most Americans. I see this in my friends’ lives because (a) they don’t fit into the mainstream of whiteness (which is largely invisible to us who make the rules); (b) they are “encouraged” to fit in; but (c) they can never fit in because at any moment they’ll…
