writing
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Thoughts on My Last Day at Work
I had my retirement lunch today with my team, along with a few people who showed up unexpectedly from past, and it was really wonderful. I am just myself at work the same as I am in life. I put people first, mentor people and coach them, treat them as unique and wonderful and worth loving. I’ve done my job as a technical editor as a job that I loved, but still, it was a job. It used my passions and skills and talents. But the more important part was helping other people improve their skills, find their passions, and be released into what made them who they were. Not…
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Two Things
Back in July or August of 2023 my left thigh started bothering me. Certain kinds of clothing irritated the heck out of it, but even without anything touching it, I’d have this numb-prickliness
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What I’ve Learned in 2023
I wanted to reflect upon what I learned this year, and also think of how my knowledge will affect my choices and behaviors in the new year…
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Update on the Language Journey
It’s been a while since I last updated what I’m doing as I’ve been on the journey to learn Haitian Creole. I started in March of 2022, just after Duolingo released its course in Haitian Creole, and after a month of daily practice I realized that I was just learning some words and some very simple grammar, but beyond that, the course was not as fully developed as Duolingo’s other, more mature courses. There were no stories, for example, and various other features were just missing. Plus, it didn’t go very far beyond some vocabulary building and some simple grammar. It’s good stuff, believe me, but it’s not going to…
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Short stories and lengthy processes
This week’s follow-up assignment was to write my own story, in Haitian Creole, using the grammatical constructions, and build out a similar example of dialog, interaction, and choices. Then, after writing it, I had to read the story and record it, and send the recording to my instructor.
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Am I fluent yet?
"Am I fluent yet?" The answer is, of course, "No, not yet." But I did have a good session with my instructor today. I am learning kreyòl and I am speaking kreyòl. And I will take that and hold onto it.
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SPEAKASY: An interview with Elyse Douglas
I had the opportunity to interview Elyse Douglas about her latest book, SPEAKEASY, published by Broadback. I appreciate that she gave so generously of her time when she could be working on the sequel!
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Beliefs and Behaviors
The Jesus of the texts doesn't encourage harm for others—and the opponents of health protocols aren't demonstrating the person of the texts.
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The Fear of Transparency
The myth of white success also develops the myth of white innocence. All the successes were due to white efforts that others seemed unable to copy; all the events of terror and destruction were minimalized and forgotten. And white innocence was preserved & confirmed for a people who could gladly declare their devotion to America as the land of “liberty and justice for all.”
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REVIEW: The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person
Absolutely great. Frank, honest, funny, touching, real. Frederick Joseph here is at once wonderfully endearing and approachable and also blunt and direct, someone who is self-possessed and self-aware, and someone who is going to be a great friend for whomever will let him be exactly that. I found myself laughing on quite a few pages, but almost in the next line wincing or even blurting out “oh my god.” There is so much truth here, and great observations, and the definite proclamation of “I am a man,” much in the spirit of the resisters of the 1960s. I appreciated so much the willingness to go into the paint, as it…
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This Do
There is nothing that white American Christians have or want as human beings that our Black brothers and sisters do not want.
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Fieldnotes on Allyship: Now in Print
It is a truth universally acknowledged that America is centered on the success, promotion, pleasure, and whims of white people.
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THE CHRISTMAS EVE PROMISE, by Elyse Douglas
What if you could return to the past to correct a mistake in the present?
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When Church Becomes the State
Sometimes we think that by making our country an explicitly religious one, we will solve our problems. But the results are always worse.
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Making the Past the Past
“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” ~ Wm. Faulkner It is a difficult thing to think that one’s own faith might itself be in need of redemption. While I got “saved” into the Christian faith during the Jesus Movement, I still found the Billy Graham Crusades to be helpful. Yet it felt funny to see BG side with Republicans. It was discomforting to see how little BG dealt with the racism of the church—even when I wasn’t aware of what was going on, really, I remember thinking it odd that BG would be so, so careful on how he handled MLK, Jr. and his memory. I found…
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The Confidence of Ignorance
It’s really sad when white guys don’t get it. There’s a sui generis difference between the experience of Black Americans and everyone else. I was in a discussion with some people, including some white guys, one who demanded to include his own viewpoint into any discussion about the value of Black lives, often expressed by the phrase “Black Lives Matter.” It was . . . an interesting discussion that went nowhere, because the discussion started from ignorance by this gentleman and never went any further than what he already was convinced was the whole truth. The sad thing isn’t so much that he didn’t listen. (Reader: he didn’t listen.) The sad thing is…
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REVIEW: Just Mercy
I got this book for Christmas, and it sat on my pile of “To Read” books because there were a dozen or so books waiting for me before I could get to this one. But I picked it up, and started reading. This is an extraordinary book, not only for the masterful construction of a story (I’m always looking for that) but also for the deeply personal and intimate way of telling us this story that brings us into the lives of these men and women and children who have been pushed onto a conveyor belt that leads to the extraordinary cruelty of the death penalty in the United States.…
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13 BILLION TO ONE, by Randy Rush
I was given an advance reader’s copy of the book 13 Billion to One, by Randy Rush, and asked to create an honest review after reading. My thoughts are below. This is a wild and fascinating ride through the experiences of a man plucked by fate from his ordinary life into the world of fantasy–the fantasy of suddenly having enough money to do just about whatever you want to do. Go see your favorite team! Fly to Europe! Travel to Africa! Buy the car that you’ve always wanted. Two cars—or even more! But along with fantasy comes the reality of dealing with the people who surround you hoping to use…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 46: Whole Again
I’ve been blogging with friends as I read through “Waking Up White,” by Debby Irving. We’re committed to reading, thinking, and then writing about our thoughts. For a complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quote from Ms. Irving’s book appear using a format to distinguish them from my own words in response. Race is not a cause, it’s a part of becoming fully human. —Billie Mayo Goodness. Interesting and provocative! One of the great temptations of white people when confronting racism is to wish earnestly that it would go away as a difficult and troubling topic. And yet—here it is. I write and edit for Our…
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Words of Apology
One of the most critical things I’m learning is that a conditional apology is worthless. An apology leading with an “if” is nothing at all. It is words that afford us no responsibility to understand or change, and we can offer such an “apology” with no sense of insight about the person who we are. Instead, this “apology” pushes the offense to the victim of the offense. “I wasn’t clear. You didn’t understand. You’re too sensitive. I didn’t mean that.” Love is at stake here. The meaning, the purpose, the expression. We might think we “love” people, and we might think we really mean it. (“I feel so sincere!”) But…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, justice, Life Recovery Skills, racism
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 45: Normalizing Race Talk
Blogging with friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committed to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. Using the topic of race as a relationship builder, not buster. I still find it to be uncanny that as I read this book, pause, and then blog about it, that what I read in the book seems to be in parallel to what I’m currently experiencing or thinking. I’m thinking right now about how to talk about race that is normative and informative…
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With Malice Aforethought
“The McMichaels did not intend to kill Mr. Arbery that day. All they intended to do was to stop him, question him, and hold him and wait for the police to arrive.” You’ll start hearing this defense, if you haven’t already. It seems so understandable, so smooth, so compassionate. But. No. Imagine you’re going to “get out of the house.” Just go for a drive. It’s May, and it’s a beautiful day. “I’m not going bowling,” you say. “I know that bowling is bad for me. I get mad when I can’t get 300 and I mess up the place.” But you take your bowling bag with your bowling ball…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 44: Listening
Still blogging with my friends as I read “Waking Up White” by Debby Irving, committing ourselves to read and think and write about our thoughts. For the complete list of posts from my own journey, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “You know what we need? We need a listening revolution.” I’m friends with a few people, some of them exceedingly gracious to me. The ones whom I learn the most from are the ones I listen the most to. Listening runs counter to my character of having to know everything and to try everything and to be assertive and confident and…
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Getting an Upgrade
Well, it’s official. I’m now an editor for the online magazine Our Human Family, which has the motto “Conversations on achieving equality.” Clay Rivers is the publisher, dreamer, and doer behind all this, and he’s produced some awesome work, not only with an online magazine but also printed full-color magazines. We’ve been chatting together for a while now, and I’ve been handing him some of my own work to publish. So it just seemed like the right time to start working with him officially. It’s a labor of love*, and the goals we are are simple and direct and honest: that we would all love one another. Take a look,…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 43: From Tolerance to Engagement
I’m blogging, along with several other writers, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to sharing our thoughts as we read. This is another post in the series of my own journey. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book appear using a different style from my reactions. “Tolerance” and “celebrating diversity” set the bar too low. Intriguing statement. In this chapter Ms. Irving explores the idea that merely putting people of color (or BBIPOC) into an organization does not, by itself, do anything beyond show that corporations are capable of expanding their hiring pool. (This is not a bad…
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#WakingUpWhite Chapter 42: Solidarity and Accountability
I’m blogging, along with several others, as I read the book by Debby Irving “Waking Up White.” We’ve committed to writing about our thoughts as we read along, and so this is another post in the series. For the complete list of posts, see https://stephenmatlock.com/category/writing/wakingupwhite/ Quotes from the book are formatted using a different style than my own reactions. Somewhere early in this journey, a man of color signed a note to me, “In solidarity, James.” The word “solidarity” jolted me. Here he’d just extended to me the honor of being “in” something with him, and I was feeling uncomfortable about it. It made me feel like a fraud and…
- #WakingUpWhite, American Exceptionalism, Celebrate Recovery, faith, history, Life Recovery Skills, racism, writing
#WakingUpWhite Chapter 41: From Bystander to Ally
Still reading chapters from Waking Up White, by Debbie Irving, and blogging my responses as I read. Quotes are from the book, and my responses follow. I’ve been doing some thinking lately about all this. And by “all this” I mean “all the stuff I read and write and think and say,” because I don’t know if—beyond confirming with others who are already convinced—I’m doing anything effective. And to be as blunt as possible about this: I’m not sure, not at all sure, that what I’m doing is doing anything for me or in me or to me. I’m not sure that I’ve done anything beyond becoming more informed and…
