“The biggest problem with America’s idea of racial categories is that they’re not just categories: they’ve been used to imply a hierarchy born of nature. Regardless of how racial categories came into being, Americans have been cast in racial roles that have the power to become self-fulfilling, self-perpetuating prophecies.”

There’s some great things in this chapter which pulls apart racial categories using a great analogy of dividing people arbitrarily into groups based upon hair color. Each hair color is associated with a type of achievement based upon who-knows-what, but there is some assignment done that people accept. (Work with me here. It’s analogy.) Now, over time, the original philosophy of why this was done is obscured or even lost, and yet the system is perpetuated, so much so that any person who is born is not only assigned an achievement type by others, they themselves accept this and believe it, limiting themselves with a clear conscience to fit only certain roles that guarantee at best only certain types of achievement.

Stupid and foolish, I know.

But we do that with racial categories. I’ll let you do the work to figure out what blind categorizations and stereotypes you apply to people based upon their race. Some of them appear to be harmless or complimentary: “You are so athletic and so gifted rhythmically!” We think that is praiseworthy to say and observe because “shouldn’t we be nice to people and point out their talents?” But then that becomes the outlet for some people to shine, and that is what they pursue because they themselves believe it.

Real life is complicated, and this is not the only thing going on. Still, it’s a useful tool for analysis, to see how perceptions of ability from the majority can influence the choices the minorities can make.

Questions

How have you understood racial difference in terms of biology?

I feel like a Facebook status here: It’s complicated. I think in the past my ideas of “race” were much more rigid. There were white people, and black people, and Asian people, and Hispanic people. There was a bright line between the races. My understanding was based almost entirely upon appearance, and that itself was almost entire focused on the face and head. White people tend to have light skin. Black people tend to have darker skin. Asian people tend to have prominent cheekbones. Hispanic people tend to have straight black hair. I’m not saying I was right, but these were my easy categories. (When I was studying dental technologies back in the 80s, thinking I could be someone who could work on the technology behind dental appliances, I was fascinated to discover differences in tooth shapes that were related to racial categories.)

In terms of culture?

Again, another complicated answer. Partly I felt that there was a distinction between races that mean that races didn’t mix much except some light interactions socially. Not some kind of block against miscegenation. But what I saw socially was that there was a casual and superficial mixing of races in Southern California, but people tended to keep with their own. What I understood of other people in their categories was very limited and ignorant, and the reality was that for about 55 years of my life I was satisfied that everyone was kinda OK, and that white people were perfectly fine in being white and separate because that’s just how things are.

Have you given it much thought? Why or why not?

I have given it more thought, but I am only slowly understanding. I have been reading a lot, and listening a lot, for at least ten years of focused work on my ignorance and easy acceptance of white supremacy.

The reason I’ve given it thought is a bigger answer than I can answer beyond anything other than “it just happened,” but a good summary answer would be to say that my whiteness told me I was good and innocent in my estimations of racial differences (“we’re all just brothers, amirite?”). But one day someone in my recovery class who is black said to my face “do you know I’m black?” I had been participating in white innocence in the class, and color blindness, as good white people are wont to do, and for some reason that’s unfathomable this man spoke out, and for an even more unfathomable reason I was struck by that, and ashamed, and I wanted to repent and make amends. I had no idea what being black meant, and I had no idea how I’d find out, but I used the tools that I had: Google. I started first by looking on Google for people who talked about what it meant to be black, which led to some core blogs with heavy discussions that referenced lots and lots of books and movies and music and art, and I read/consumed/reacted to everything I could. I wanted to understand, because I was ashamed of not only my ignorance, but of my attitude. That’s why I say I repented. That statement in class was transformative. There is not a week that goes by, sometimes not a day, when I do not bitterly regret my superficiality in that class and my superficiality to that man.  I deeply regret the harm I caused in my attitude and my words, and I would give anything to go back in time and correct in every event and circumstance the choices I made that led me to be satisfied, ignorant, superficial, and prim. But we can never erase the scars. We can only seek healing and restoration, moving on with a commitment to be better, love better, act better, speak better.

One of the reasons I blog about this journey is to give my white tribe some hooks into how to repent themselves. I could not care less if you think well of me—or even that you might not think of me at all. I’m no one special. You really cannot hurt me with scorn or abuse or name-calling or even threats. My shame is burned up in the fire. Were you to bring up my past actions, I would embrace fully the truth that I did them. And I would embrace fully the shame and the responsibility, and I would cast it upon the altar of love to be burned in the fire of forgiveness.  I work this “out loud,” so to speak, because I have compassion for white people who have become twisted into hard, bitter, shallow, unloving people. I’m finding a way out of that. And I just want to offer ideas, and even hope, to people who discover that they are longing for love, to be loved, and to love.

I work through this book, not because I want to “win,” but because I want truth.

To follow along with the others, see also:

Di Brown “Nixie” at https://dianabrown.net/blog-challenge-waking-up-white/

This chapter: https://dianabrown.net/waking-up-white-chapter-8/

Dawn Claflin at https://dawnclaflin.wordpress.com/