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writing the journey

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  • #WakingUpWhite
  • Events
  • Comment Policy
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  • Books and Other Works

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  • #WakingUpWhite,  justice,  racism

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 3: Race Versus Class

    January 30, 2019 /

    “Which one is the real issue?” The temptation when confronting a difficult issue is to find a subsidiary issue, make that primary, resolve it, and be done. So it is with race and class. These two issues can be conflated but they are different, and the easiest way to show this is that we can move up and down class hierarchies, but we cannot move out of our race. “Race” is used as a distinguishing and exclusionary element in every class. There are a few interesting stories to illustrate this point—perhaps the most disconcerting is the one where Dr. John H. Franklin, honored by President Clinton with the Presidential Medal…

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    Man sitting on subway

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 30: Feelings and the Culture of Niceness

    September 10, 2019
    Multicolored connector plugs inserted into a control panel.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 34: Becoming Multicultural

    October 26, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 1: What Wasn’t Said

    January 27, 2019
  • #WakingUpWhite,  history,  justice,  reviews

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 2: Family Values

    January 29, 2019 /

    “One of the things my white mother could not teach me was to honor feelings of outrage.” This chapter is a short one—about family origins. What kind of family did you grow up in? My family is like all families, I suppose, in the sense that we half-invented it and half-followed existing models. That’s how you survive. In this chapter the author talks about the long history of her own family and how that controlled her own behaviors: it was instilled at an early age. Now, of course it was an all-white environment, but there was more. There was the subtle inculcation of values that established the author as white—and…

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    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 27: Living into Expectations

    June 18, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 18: Color-blind

    March 24, 2019
    Six people participate in a close group hug.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 25: Belonging

    May 14, 2019
  • #WakingUpWhite,  essays,  family,  justice,  racism,  Southern California,  writing

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 1: What Wasn’t Said

    January 27, 2019 /

    This chapter* opens with a provocative quote by the author: “‘WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ALL THE INDIANS?’ I asked my mother on a Friday morning ride home from the library.” Gotta tell you, this not a question I had growing up in the 50s in the middle-class white suburbs of Los Angeles and Orange County. “Where are all the people of color?” I did not ask because for me the world was white. I cannot remember a single person I met before the mid 70s who was black except for our neighbor’s maid, and I tell you this with a sense of shame and embarrassment that I never knew her name,…

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    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 35: If Only You’d Be More Like Me

    November 15, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 33: Perception and Fear

    October 22, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 7: The GI Bill

    February 11, 2019
  • #WakingUpWhite,  Books,  Celebrate Recovery,  challenges,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see

    January 26, 2019 /

    James Baldwin* said this, I’m told: “If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” I can’t find the source of this quote, but it is widely attributed to him, and as I see no one protesting that these are not his words, I’m gonna go with it. Which leads me to the main purpose of this post: to introduce you to a new project I’ll be undertaking with a few friends, a journey to read the book “Waking Up White: and Finding Myself in the Story of Race,” by Debby Irving. I’ve not read this before, so the plan is for each…

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    #Waking Up White Chapter 13: Invisibility

    March 7, 2019
    A child stands at the bottom of stone steps, considering how to overcome a seemingly impossible challenge.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 41: From Bystander to Ally

    February 21, 2020

    #Waking Up White Chapter 21: Straddling Two Worlds

    April 13, 2019
  • Celebrate Recovery,  history,  Life Recovery Skills

    Jesus of the Scars–Edward Shillito

    January 23, 2019 /

    Today’s blog entry is just the poetry from Edward Shillito “Jesus of the Scars” by Edward Shillito If we have never sought, we seek Thee now; Thine eyes burn through the dark, our only stars; We must have sight of thorn-pricks on Thy brow, We must have Thee, O Jesus of the Scars. The heavens frighten us; they are too calm; In all the universe we have no place. Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm? Lord Jesus, by Thy Scars, we claim Thy grace. If, when the doors are shut, Thou drawest near, Only reveal those hands, that side of Thine; We know to-day what wounds are,…

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    I’m Just Here to Dance

    February 16, 2019

    The Barley Soup Recipe

    January 2, 2019
    A child stands at the bottom of stone steps, considering how to overcome a seemingly impossible challenge.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 41: From Bystander to Ally

    February 21, 2020
  • American Exceptionalism,  Celebrate Recovery,  faith,  family,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  questions,  racism

    What Would You Do If You Could Bring Conciliation?

    January 17, 2019 /

    This is a review of the book “The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism” The key issue that continues to break America’s soul is racism. Full stop. One hundred fifty years before Yorktown there was Jamestown. 1619 was the arrival of captive slaves of African descent, sold to English settlers and colonists looking for cheap labor that could be used for profit and personal success. By 1667 Virginia had passed a law perpetuating the eternal status of chattel slaves; in the last half of the 18th century the same people who held self-evident truths of liberty also held black humans as property to be…

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    News and Updates

    April 13, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 12: Icebergs

    March 2, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 8: Racial Categories

    February 14, 2019
  • American Exceptionalism,  Celebrate Recovery,  faith,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    The Barley Soup Recipe

    January 2, 2019 /

    So this was a tasty dinner tonight: barley soup, from a recipe a friend gave our family for Christmas (along with a few of the ingredients: barley, broth, basil, thyme, canned chopped tomatoes). Add to this a pound of ground or diced beef, carrots, celery, and spinach, then do some magic. Only as we were making the soup we were reluctant to follow the recipe. “That’s a lot of carrots! Let’s use half.” and “I don’t think we want that much celery. Let’s use half.” And finally “Way too much spinach!…” We thought that the proportions were wrong, and we were being directed to put too much into the soup—we…

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    Close-up of two old doors painted white. The paint is peeling off.

    Beyond the Sight Lines of Racism

    January 1, 2021

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 16: Logos and Stereotypes

    March 19, 2019

    My Dear White People

    November 10, 2019
  • American Exceptionalism,  Celebrate Recovery,  faith,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    New Year, New Labels

    January 1, 2019 /

    In thinking about the last year, I’ve struggled to place myself theologically. I am raised Protestant, became a Christian through the efforts of evangelistic movements like Campus Crusade for Christ and InterVarsity, have learned much from my experiences in Calvary Chapel (at the “Mothership” in Costa Mesa), and have bounced around in churches for a bit, but essentially staying always in churches that feel theologically comfortable. (I don’t expect any church’s doctrine to be a complete parallel to my own; I just like the essentials to be in alignment with me: who is God, who is Jesus, who is Holy Spirit, what is the nature of humanity, what is the…

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    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 17: My Good People

    March 20, 2019
    A white man in a hat smiles at a white woman who smiles back.

    REVIEW: Good White Racist?2

    May 24, 2021

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 9: White Superiority

    February 19, 2019
  • American Exceptionalism,  Celebrate Recovery,  essays,  faith,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    Feats of Clay

    December 31, 2018 /

    Our heroes are flawed. Our villains have moments of redemptive grace. We live in a complex world, where we cannot depend upon someone being just someone, but instead they are always many things. I bring this up because Christmas 2018 is half-way over. (You do celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas from Dec 25 Christmas Day through January 6, Epiphany of the Gentiles, of course?) And in Christmastime one of the more popular carols (“Christmas hymns”) is the fantastic, overwhelming, joyful “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.” It’s one of my favorites, both in the tune and in the words. Charles Wesley wanted a song that was solemn and majestic, befitting…

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    The Charlottesville Declaration

    April 27, 2019
    man in yellow and black plaid shirt sits on bed looking at camera

    History as Cassandra

    August 30, 2022
    bronze bust of Julius Caesar seen from the side

    Jesus as Emperor

    March 22, 2022
  • faith,  justice

    Come, Desire of Nations, Come

    December 25, 2018 /

    Come, Desire of nations come,Fix in us Thy humble home;Oh, to all Thyself impart,Formed in each believing heart! Merry Christmas, everyone. Verse by Charles Wesley, 1839 Image “Nativity” by Brian Kershisnik

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    Close-up of two old doors painted white. The paint is peeling off.

    Beyond the Sight Lines of Racism

    January 1, 2021

    Words and Deeds

    March 3, 2019
    Brass key sitting on fallen leaves

    Hard Questions, Hard Answers

    June 20, 2021
  • American Exceptionalism,  faith,  Life Recovery Skills

    White People: Follow Directions, Please, and Keep Your Hands and Arms Inside the Vehicle at All Times

    December 24, 2018 /

    I’m shaking my head, still. I posted a note on my FB wall from Thomas Merton: Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. It seems fairly intuitive and godly and loving. We should love others. Fin. Some white Evangelical guy did not like the message and broke into my wall to state that “nowhere are we told we have to get the federal government to rob us to pay off the poor.” I was puzzled at the interruption. Nothing in this image says that we are demanding the government to do anything. Just for us all, we should be kind and…

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    Wyte Innocence

    March 28, 2022
    Boxes and cups and bottles all stacked on shelves

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 37: Boxes and Labels

    November 29, 2019
    A man works to repair a church window.

    On Deconstruction

    March 17, 2022
  • American Civil War,  American Exceptionalism,  challenges,  faith,  history,  justice,  racism

    Does History Matter?

    December 23, 2018 /

    I’m involved in life, like many people, and one thing that fascinates me is how we forget our past when it’s inconvenient but trot out certain myths and memes because they are “real” and important. For example, George Washington is the father of our country (and of little else because he was physically sterile). We have the Washington Monument, Mt. Rushmore, his face on our currency, and even a state named after him (no, not Georgia). We celebrate his birthday along with Abraham Lincoln’s in “Presidents Day,” and we revere his memory. Yet Washington was a white slaver. He held humans as property in his labor camps, and pursued them…

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    banknotes

    Juneteenth, Reparations, and What Do I Do About It?

    June 19, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 6: From Confusion to Shock

    February 8, 2019
    Street view of the F. W. Woolworth building in Greensboro, North Carolina. There are a dozen people standing on the sidewalk in front of the building.

    When We Hide the Past in Plain Sight

    July 14, 2025
  • Celebrate Recovery,  faith,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    What Is the Place of Jonathan Edwards As an Example to the Church?

    December 10, 2018 /

    I’m in an interesting discussion in a book group, in which we’re reading Jemar Tisby’s book “The Color of Compromise” (https://amzn.to/2UrMEOm). We’re looking at two men who tower above others in the early Colonial days: Jonathan Edwards and George Whitefield. These men are well-known in Evangelical circles. They preached a redeeming Gospel, they brought many into contact with God, and they helped define American Protestantism as a faith of the individual. And yet both supported slavery. George Whitefield so much that he helped convince the state of George to convert from being a slave-free state to becoming a white-slaver state—he needed the money from his enslaved Africans in order to…

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    Domino tiles laid out on a wooden table

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 40: Bull in a China Shop

    January 26, 2020
    Snowboarder

    Surfing the Avalanche

    February 15, 2010

    Wyte Innocence

    March 28, 2022
  • faith,  justice,  racism,  writing

    For I Am Not Ashamed of the Gospel—Except the Hard Parts

    December 10, 2018 /

    I saw this on the NPR website this morning, and it sparked a reaction in me. https://www.npr.org/2018/12/09/674995075/slave-bible-from-the-1800s-omitted-key-passages-that-could-incite-rebellion On display now at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., is a special exhibit centered on a rare Bible from the 1800s that was used by British missionaries to convert and educate slaves. What’s notable about this Bible is not just its rarity, but its content, or rather the lack of content. It excludes any portion of text that might inspire rebellion or liberation. There’s a great verse in the Bible about the value of the Word. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of…

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    Believe

    February 1, 2019
    book cover. An upraised fist of rebellion. Title "Fieldnotes on Allyship" is typeset underneath the fist.

    Fieldnotes on Allyship is Launched!

    October 2, 2020

    The Barley Soup Recipe

    January 2, 2019
  • faith,  justice,  racism

    Who Then Is My Neighbor?

    December 8, 2018 /

    (ETA: A much better response can be found here: https://mereorthodoxy.com/and-who-is-my-neighbor/) If you’ve been around the New Testament to any great length, you are probably familiar with the story of the Good Samaritan. Luke 10:25-37 is brief. A man tried to challenge Jesus about what it mean to love God and love your neighbor by trying to get an exemption upon “neighbor.” Jesus flatly smacked him down. “The people you encounter are your neighbors. Help those people.” That is, the neighbor is the proximate. But some foolish men have now taken up the question again, to narrow what Jesus expanded here. “Is my neighbor someone on the next block? The next…

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    Leaf floating on water

    When You Fall

    September 21, 2019

    Lenten Lamentations

    March 5, 2019

    In the Fields of the Lord

    February 12, 2019
  • Books,  faith,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    The Color of Compromise—A Review

    December 7, 2018 /

    This is perhaps one of the most accessible, clear, and gentle book you might read about the history of, and acceptance of, white supremacy and black abasement of the American nation and in the American church. Tisby is an historian and does not shave meaning or impact by using soft words. When you read this, you understand what he is saying, directly: racism in the American church was, and is, a deliberate choice. Nothing that has happened so far had to happen. But the good news is that our American nation and our American church can be changed by the actions of interested and committed people. I would expect that…

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    REVIEW: Subversive Witness: Scripture’s Call to Leverage Privilege

    December 12, 2021

    REVIEW: Urban Apologetics

    April 6, 2021
    A white man in a hat smiles at a white woman who smiles back.

    REVIEW: Good White Racist?2

    May 24, 2021
  • faith,  justice,  racism

    Thus Far Has the LORD Helped Us: A Retrospective of a Decade

    December 4, 2018 /

    Think of a moment in time, a dot, a pivot. You put a stake in the ground, marking the place you have come to thus far. You look back and you see all the rocks and pits and even chasms you crossed. And here you are, now, at the end of the journey, a period at the end of the long, long sentence you have been speaking. It was hard, and hazardous, and you think that now, NOW, you can catch your breath before you set your tent, you make the tabernacle where the Lord will dwell with you forever. But it is not a period and not an end…

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    Six people participate in a close group hug.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 25: Belonging

    May 14, 2019

    When Home Is Gone

    February 27, 2019
    A white coffee mug with coffee in it. It has the word "BEGIN" on it, and sits on a wooden table.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 46: Whole Again

    May 25, 2020
  • Celebrate Recovery,  essays,  faith,  history,  justice,  Life Recovery Skills,  racism

    Why It Matters: For you I was born, for you I live, and for you I give my last breath

    December 2, 2018 /

    I am involved in two streams right now that are greatly affecting me on how I see myself and what I consider my values. And in one of those streams the topic came up about why people do what they do. For me, the question is really “Why pursue racial conciliation?”, which was prompted by a statement from Jemar Tisby in his podcast “Color of Compromise Pre-Launch Interview” (appx 11/28/2018): “The more you pursue justice, the more of Jesus you get.” Why this matters to me is something I’ll explain. First, a brief immediate background. I’ve been working on my “stuff” for about ten years now. I have a lot…

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    Making Good in Trouble

    March 29, 2022
    Two men having a conversation

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 31: Courageous Conversations

    October 6, 2019

    Not Your Place, Not Your Time

    April 15, 2022
  • history,  justice,  racism,  reviews

    Goodreads Review: The Color of Compromise, by Jemar Tisby

    November 28, 2018 /

    From The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is perhaps one of the most accessible, clear, and gentle book you might read about the history of, and acceptance of, white supremacy and black abasement of the American nation and in the American church. Tisby is an historian and does not shave meaning or impact by using soft words. When you read this, you understand what he is saying, directly: racism in the American church was, and is, a deliberate choice. Nothing that has happened so far had to happen. But the good news is that our American…

    read more
    stephen matlock 0 Comments

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    banknotes

    Juneteenth, Reparations, and What Do I Do About It?

    June 19, 2019
    Seven hot air balloon in various colors float in the light blue sky.

    Thoughts on My Last Day at Work

    January 10, 2025

    Making Good in Trouble

    March 29, 2022
  • faith,  justice,  racism,  writing

    I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living

    November 17, 2018 /

    The prophet Amos cried out (in 5:24) the desire of God for righteousness to be the ocean we swim in, a sea of support and sustaining, a place of healing and recovery. But this is America 2018, and in America justice is far off. In this America of 2018, we have Jemel Roberson. A father, brother, son. Working extra hours to pay for Christmas for his son. A church member and talented musician. The friend of many people. He was doing his job as a security guard, holding a suspect in the ground, when the police shot him in spite of his uniform and the cries of the crowd that…

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    Beliefs and Behaviors

    August 19, 2021

    Lenten Lamentations

    March 5, 2019

    A Reminder: Welcome to Our Muslim Neighbors

    March 16, 2019
  • history,  justice,  racism,  writing

    Unwanted Subject: When You Have No Space in America

    November 17, 2018 /

    This came across my newsfeed this morning, and it involves a somewhat-local yogurt shop calling the police on a black man in their store where he was not wanted: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/unwanted-subject-what-led-a-kirkland-yogurt-shop-to-call-police-on-a-black-man/ The gist is that Byron Ragland, a court-appointed special advocate and visitation supervisor, was overseeing an outing between a mother and her son. The family wanted to get yogurt, so Ragland drove them to a nearby shop. For whatever reason, Ragland didn’t buy any yogurt, but the family did, and under his supervision the mother and son…visited. Two employees were nervous about Ragland being there, and they got the store owner involved. The cops were called on this man, “African…

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    Real but Imaginary Threats

    June 19, 2021
    man in yellow and black plaid shirt sits on bed looking at camera

    History as Cassandra

    August 30, 2022

    New Year, New Labels

    January 1, 2019
  • challenges,  racism,  writing

    Chief of Sinners

    November 15, 2018 /

    Recently I joined a group of people who are working diligently to expose, root out, combat, and overturn racism in America, most specifically in the American church. As a member of this group, I am asked to listen and to learn before I speak, and to contribute seldom, whether it is words or in reactions. (“Love your emotional breakdown! So honest!”) I’ll confess it’s hard to handle, because I mean so well! I’m one of the people who’s working for healing; how could you not want my participation and my insight and my support? How could you not want my contributions and my energy and my outside-the-group-but-inside-as-an-ally enthusiasm? How indeed?…

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    If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see

    January 26, 2019

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 22: Why Do I Always End Up with White People?

    April 29, 2019

    When the Past Tries to Reclaim the Present

    March 13, 2019
  • justice,  racism,  reviews

    #TheHateUGive – A Review

    October 23, 2018 /

    I saw The Hate U Give tonight, and I have thoughts… But first, let get some of the mechanicals out of the way. First of all, the casting was stellar. I would especially commend Yesi Ramirez for the work to find this team of players that blended in so effortlessly in their roles. In nearly every scene and interaction they were superb. I do not know enough of what the director George Tillman Jr. or the writer Angie Thomas (novel) and Audrey Wells (screenplay) were looking for exactly with the white actors for “Hailey” and “Chris,” but I winced at their portrayals. They felt accurate and yet–oh my god. The…

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    Believe

    February 1, 2019
    A suburb showing about 100 houses on winding streets.

    From Levittown to Black Lives Matter

    June 26, 2020

    When Church Becomes the State

    September 27, 2020
  • challenges,  Life Recovery Skills

    Is Paris Worth the Price of a Mass?

    September 29, 2018 /

    Shocking revelation:No political party or interest group is without bias, and that includes conservative Evangelicals. Also shocking:No political party or interest group (including Evangelicals) represents themselves or their opponents perfectly. And also shocking:Political parties or interest groups (including Evangelicals) that literally betray their primary authenticizing principles are quite rightly seen as hypocritical. If Evangelicals hold to the truth that God is love, neighbors are valuable, children are treasures, the poor are the cherished of God, the rich deserve no elevation but only pity, and that truth and justice are the especial delights of God–and yet by their actions they betray every one of these because “we must have the fifth…

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    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 22: Why Do I Always End Up with White People?

    April 29, 2019

    If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see

    January 26, 2019

    Ki kote m ye?

    July 23, 2023
  • Celebrate Recovery,  challenges,  faith,  Life Recovery Skills,  musings,  racism

    Ruminations on Acts 4–Do Before You Speak

    September 9, 2018 /

    I don’t often write up my thoughts as I read the Christian scriptures. Though I’m a white Evangelical of long practice, I’ve found recently that listening is far more important than speaking. Today, however, was interesting, as I got a chance to tune in to one of my favorite long-distance churches and pastors, Pastor Andre Mitchell of Deliverance Temple, in Muncie, Indiana, and was able to listen to much of his preaching just before my own church services. There was a powerful synchronicity in the two experiences—Pastor Mitchell spoke on a theme of “Stand Your Ground,” and in my own church we had a lectio divina on Acts 4. Now…

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    Community and Acceptance

    What Is the Home That Shuts Its Doors to You?

    September 23, 2019
    Two women, one white, one Black, are having a conversation with each other. They're seated facing each other at a table next to a large window overlooking an urban setting.

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 45: Normalizing Race Talk

    May 9, 2020
    Leaf floating on water

    When You Fall

    September 21, 2019
  • competitions,  writing

    “To Sleep, Perchance to Dream” now available for online reading

    June 25, 2018 /

    My short story, To Sleep, Perchance to Dream, is available for online reading at Literally Stories. Take a look!

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    Red poppies blooming in the sunset

    All the Years Like Yesterdays Departed

    September 11, 2019
  • essays,  flash fiction,  short story,  writing

    “Only a Mother’s Love” fantasy short fiction published

    June 24, 2018 /

    My 2018 Yeah Write fiction entry Only a Mother’s Love is now published online at Short-Story.Me https://www.short-story.me/stories/fantasy-stories/1071-only-a-mother-s-love Premise is a mash-up of science fiction and true crime detective. And about 1000 words.

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    Leaf floating on water

    When You Fall

    September 21, 2019

    Of Course I’m Racist

    September 16, 2019
    Runners' track waiting for the race

    #WakingUpWhite Chapter 39: Equality Starts with Equity

    January 18, 2020
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